Art by Emma, age 8

Emma is loving art. I am so proud of her. :)

Living with Empathy

something feels strange


to me tonight


I only feel


it is out of my site


is it real


usually true


why I don't know


what about you

God gives us what we need when we need it.

the Creative Onion

I seem to be at a creative block...not sure why

I am hoping to get out of it soon

In recovery programs they use the onion as an example

work on one layer at a time

my life seems to be like this

one layer at a time

hopefully, the next layer will bring

my creative energy back....

it will, I think

it always does but

I never like waiting

Happy Birthday Ellison Grace!!

Happy 12th birthday Ellie!! You are a beautiful, sweet and talented chick!!! I am so proud of you and who you are....I thank God for you everyday!!

I love you!

Mommy

Humidity and the camera

We can't let the beauty be blocked by a little humidity.......

Painting

It can be strange at times

seeing in pictures

The one I see now

is a road

with a heart at

the beginning

but I dont' see

where the road

is leading

maybe I will

try to paint it

today

The Newspaper

Here is where I find myself today...tired because i have been so busy, sad (for no apparent reason) and on the front of the living section in the Daily News Journal, which is the Murfreesboro newspaper.

So, my first inclination was, I am feeling sad (sometimes, I pick up other's sadness) so I need to write. Then, I remembered, the newpaper just out today. I wanted my blog to be an encouraging place for people who have become numb to life, people who are depressed...I thought I should not write anything but happy thoughts for a few days.

That is so not me. I love to write happy thoughts but only if they are real. I am thankful today, just not overly happy today. So, in order to be real with you friends, I have to admit to feeling a little down and there is not any ONE big issue that is bugging me.

Coming out of depression is a slow process. I am feeling MUCH better but I am a very sensitive person so it has it peaks and valleys with me.

I can't believe I almost fell for the "put on a fake front" thing. Just admitting the truth now. I feel better. LOL, really I do!

If you are a mom or anyone who struggles like I do...I hope you will leave a comment...it is an easier hill to climb once you know others are listening. I am glad God gave me a desire to try to find the real....

Why I Blog

I blog because for years I was numb. I tried unsuccessfully to be like everyone else. I tried to be the perfect parent and failed miserably.

I am not like everyone else. I see now though, that no one is like everyone else. We all have gifts and talents to share! There is no cookie cutter person. We are all made as unique individuals by a loving God who made us to use our gifts to help others. This is what I want to share and encourage other people to trust their gift. Self doubt haunted me for years and it keeps people from "letting go" . Once we let go of it, we can encourage others and accomplish much.

The Gift of Flowers

There once was a garden where small flowers lived
They were happy and pretty
They wanted to give
They wondered aloud how their gifts were best used
They knew with their beauty they couldn't lose
They sat and watched as butterflies flew
and lighted on petals of orange and blue
the flowers were happy
but had more to give
they knew they were there to help others to live

My Life WITH Sleep

I finally had to be treated for insomnia. I had to bite the bullet and get on medication for a little while. It had been too long since I had slept. I was going crazy.

After a few days of sleep, I am a different person. I can accomplish more, I am much happier and I am ENJOYING my life. So, after a year of me writing about the importance of treating depression, I now see the importance of treating insomnia. The way sleep deprivation slowly started to ruin my happiness is scary.

I look forward to going to sleep now...I am a better mom too! My kids can tell a difference. Wow..I am thankful...:)

One step at a time...one issue at a time...on the journey...Thank you God!

New Lessons

I am learning so much

feels like some new

lesson everyday

I am open to understand

and realize and then

turn it in to something

good because there

is good in every

lesson if we just

look

although sometimes it takes me a really long time to find the rainbow....LOL I have to be truthful...

Kinda Strange

I really thought I was over caring what others think of me

I thought I was confident in who I am and how God made me

I have never said I thought I was a good artist

I have never said my paintings were great

I paint from the heart

I paint what I see

sometimes just a message for someone

that comes to me

sometimes a painting to cheer a friend

So

today I met my dad for lunch

he said "what have you been doing"

and I said " painting " because

I was painting a peice of furniture for

the girls

not even a painting but he assumed...

He said "that is not really your thing"

I said "have you seen my paintings"

he said "yes on the internet"...

I thought I was wayyyy past

having my feelings hurt

but my feelings are hurt

I have been thinking all night

that maybe I shouldn't

burden anyone else with my

paintings since they suck....

hmmmmmm

Understanding

To be understood used to be so importand to me

now, being the one who understands

is more important...

to be able to reach

out and understand

is a gift