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Depression Chronicles

Well, so many people have emailed, called me, texted me, posted on joFrost.com for me and posted here about depression, I feel like I will try to explain how I am feeling right now. Not great....I am so very thankful to everyone and I love you all sooo much. I am so happy to be able to help people understand depression and I know I will be cured from it.
Nothing has happened to make me sad. I still enjoy talking to people and love friends. I had lots of phone calls today and I cheer up when I talk to people and I listen to everything (trust me, if I talked to you today, I listened)....
I guess what I am trying to say is, the minute I am alone, it all comes back. The sadness, the tears that seem to stay in my eyes all the time now. It is all still there.
I have great hope for Thursday when I see the doctor. I know my thyroid is messed up and that alone can add to depression. I will be sure and keep everyone informed. It is important for me to deal with the medical part of this first.
Nothing will steal my hope. Even if I feel hopeless, I know it will pass. There is always hope.

A New Journey

I think being depressed is one of the hardest things to admit to yourself. I really had to hit rock bottom (I should put that as my first song on my playlist).... It is easy to say "oh, I am depressed" and just mean a blah mood. It is much harder to admit I have a BIG depression going on and it slipped up on me without me even really noticing.

I was feeling lower and lower everyday. Just like I was alone in a bubble and I jumped out of it enough to laugh with my kids and take care of them.

I am going to the doctor this week to try to find out the cause of it. Since my heart is always to help others, I want to share my journey on this blog.

There is hope, always.....

Embracing the Gifts of Light.....

After finally realizing I could not defeat depression on my own, I have hope and can paint again...

Never Give up Hope

I had given up hope on this little rose bush. My zinnia's grew so big, it couldn't get enough sun and had little space.

Yesterday, I looked out the window and saw the pretty bloom. It made me realize NEVER to give up hope. If the rose can do it, I can do it.

The Light

look through the trees to find the light

I don't' know what to do

when faced with depression

and sadness

I've never been that great with

my own emotions

not good at all

all I know to do is write

does it make circumstances better

no

it never will

it may help me figure out

what I am feeling

probably not

yet

I write anyway

I feel like I have nothing

at this moment

nothing really

to feel

feel or think

What do your feelings tell you to do

when you have a great issue

what is your first instinct

sometimes we let our head

talk us out of what our heart

tells us to do

God will lead with our feelings

God will lead with our hearts

the answers will be there

if we take the time

to pay attention

it is essential to pay attention

ask and listen

Limbo

Sometimes it is hard for me

to see

to see things the way I should

I hit a wall with my writing

nothing seems to sound the way

I want it to sound

this puts me in sort of a limbo

a feeling of not really knowing

then I realize

I am not meant

to know

only when I try

to force the answer

do I get caught

in the limbo

The Angel Sends the Butterfly

We remember

We remember the loss...........

letting go of shame

There are so many people

searching for realness

how did we get to be

such masters of disguise

shame will only win

if we keep it locked away

and wear

the masks

once it is spoken

we are free

God was never angry

shame keeps us

from

seeing his path

once our eyes

are opened

we will

see it all

The peaceful art

I don't know what to think

about so many things

writing usually calms

the craziness in my head

something about writing it out

brings peace to me

just like paint on a canvas

to help me to see

to look outside also

refreshes my soul

I take pictures to

try to capture the

fleeting moment

Just a note from me to you. To let you know, when things feel crazy, just look around at all the peices of peace there for you.

Listen to the Cardinals