Saturday, February 28, 2009

I miss the sunshine

I really think my mood is directly related to weather. Usually, I can find beauty even on a cloudy day...today is dreary and rainy with no sign of light coming through the clouds..
Sometimes we feel that way BUT we can always be sure the sun is up there. It will be back out in a day or two. When I feel down and dreary, I try to remind myself that life can be like the weather....if we hang in there, the sun will shine again. We will see great beauty again.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Puzzle


It is like a deep hole

in the middle is the

truth

it is hard to get to the

middle

lots of layers stand

in the way

once you get

to the middle

it is easy to

trust because

once there

one doesn't ever

get forgotten

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Which Way


It was almost clear

or so I thought

the path

I was supposed

to walk

but now I

don't know

which way to turn

do I have the

energy to learn

I don't know

Saturday, February 14, 2009

sketches


These aren't very good. I just grabbed Cara's Hello Kitty notebook and her dull pencil and started sketching, no one in particular, just two faces.
When I was a kid, I sketched, until an adult told me I wasn't good. I put down the pencil and gave up.
I think I like it. I am going to go to Hobby Lobby and buy some sketch pencils. I think I love painting more but this is fun too. Practice will make it better. :)


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Natural Peace

The moon is very peaceful
It calms my spirit down
kind of like a natural antidepressant
just like the colors of the sky
to sit and look
and be in awe
of the creations of God
these are the things
that give me hope

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Life with Depression

I don't understand how I can be okay one day and then depressed the next.
I don't mean like "poor me" depressed. I mean just total sadness. When it hits me, I don't know what to do. The depression says "just give up" but I can't give up and I know that. I have 3 little girls who need their mommy to be the best she can be. Well, that is not me today.
I don't want stronger medicine. I don't know what I want and don't know why anyone would really care to read this.
I know I have good qualities, I know I can help people but what I know and what I am feeling are two different things. I feel totally useless right now. Totally like a failure. All I want to do is go in a room by myself and cry.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Monday, February 9, 2009


I have been really thinking tonight

about things I really should

have thought about before now

but I didn't really want to

I still don't but sometimes

you have to step back from

a situation and look at it

from different angles

I'm not always happy

no pill for depression

can seem to keep me

happy all the time

I wonder why that is

or do I really have to wonder

Maybe this will pass

and I won't have to think again

until later

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Lacking


sometimes creativity hits a wall
then I feel like I am going to fall
the sadness can take over at times
when I can’t think of anything that rhymes
it leaves me without a place for the black
a place to put it a way
in the pic- me as a baby