feelings

Most people who read my blog know my story. In order to be honest with myself and any of you sweet things that read this, I am choosing to say "I'm not feeling great right now". I have hope and I have not given up on any dreams. I'm just down. So, here is my writing from the car line.....

why does everything seem so hard to me
when I know others have it much worse
Life is not horrible for me
I am very blessed
Feelings are hard for me
trouble with what I feel
where did it even start
when did I change
what changed my heart
in some ways I have felt free to fly
in other ways
the rawness prevents the freedom


and from yesterday

can't see the top
it is there but I don't see it
too far down in the middle
maybe others can see it better than me
there is not a lot of color where I am
Maybe I can make some color
first I need a few more layers of skin
I feel too much right now
all of my layers
are gone