as I sit down to write

In a field of bright yellow flowers
I sit down to write
 why has it taken you so long? he ask
I don't answer
then, I say, sometimes I get off track and lose my way
I struggle to see you but I can't see the white through all the clouds
 things get in my way, feelings of the past abandonment
He says "the white is nearer than anyone knows"
 The white starts shining brighter as it hugs me.
God then says, "I will never abandon you"
 Then the white turns to a bright royal blue and fills my heart
I'm shaky but feeling loved, not quite strong but on my way...
 never to be lonely again

“Real isn't how you are made. It's a thing that happens to you. Sometimes it hurts, but when you are Real you don't mind being hurt. It doesn't happen all at once. You become. Once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand. Once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.” 
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit
My favorite quote, I held on to it as a child...