A Little About Me

Hi Friends! I have to type quickly because I have to cook dinner and go to class.
I written about part of this before. The past year has been so freeing for me. God is so good to free me of things that have haunted me for a while (although, I was totally ignoring it).
I can now admit to all my friends who read this blog (I have actually been able to tell this before but I say that the past two times I have told it are the first because I now BELIEVE it, which also made it so much easier to be free of it. I've blurted it out in the past and felt nothing, those did not count.
When I was 9 years old, I was molested by a 14 year old boy whom I trusted. I quickly pushed it aside and told myself "it could have been so much worse so I'm okay"...moved on and never dealt with it, just buried it.
Fast forward a few years, we did Supernanny in 2007, I met Jo Frost and her encouragement started a major healing in me. She knew that the problem was not our children, the problem was the parents and she talked with me and knew I needed to break free of some stuff. I'm forever grateful and thankful to have her as a friend.
I continued to heal over the past few years and parts of it have been hard, I have used writing and painting to help. :)
I am getting my masters in counseling and the classes have helped me so much. i have found a group of friends @ the Refuge who LOVE GOD and LOVE PEOPLE. I was able to stand in front of this group of people and tell what happened to me without any shame. I"m so thankful for them.
Now, I feel free. I know one is never completed healed in life but I feel like I have been given a fresh start and I am so thankful. I know longer have a scared 9 year old girl hidden in my heart.
I'm only sharing this with you because I know there are others just like me, who live in shame for something you had no control over. Pray for freedom and take baby steps. It is possible to heal your heart.
Thanks to friends who has listened to me for years and I love them so much! First, my husband who didn't know about any of this until a few months ago, Debby, Kim, Jenny, Leslie, DeeDee, kadi, Judy and Kathy, I love ya'll.
Healing is possible. Like the song says "maybe blessings come through raindrops and your healing comes through tears"
God Loves You no matter who you are.

My Birthday Blog From Leigh Ann

ok, this is my happy birthday blog to you: it was time to go home, but where is leigh ann? she's in the dryer, she doesn't want to go home. those shrinky dinks that shrunk in the oven....man those were amazing...can you believe they let us play with ovens. Steve Miller band...who played at the ryman just the other da...y. I think we had his best years back then. Old movie stars....hearing the names of some of the best...like Lana Turner....we were so cultured! Singing on cassette tapes, gosh I hope those have been destroyed! Christy, some of my favorite childhood memories are with you:) I am so glad we got along at the beauty shop that day...I love you,have a wonderful day.

Leigh Ann, I remember you hiding and getting stuck in the dryer like it was yesterday!!! Love you bunches!

My First Painting

This was my first "real" painting. I painted it for someone who has very cool personal colors...it is funny, I really thought I wouldn't get past doing "aura" paintings. I see the colors in my my mind and with my eyes so I thought it would be a nice gift for those who understand me and I wouldn't have to really grow the talent.
My friend actually liked my little painting (years of lousy self esteem, so I thought she wouldn't like it) and shared it with others. My little seed of confidence began to grow just enough for me to start this blog and for me to keep painting. Then, I got the courage to try a few new things....once they turned out okay, the fear started to leave. Now, I am not scared to try new things even if I don't think I am good enough, I will try. :)
It only takes one person to plant the seed of creativity in someone else and then they can plant it in someone else too.
Please encourage someone to be creative today!!

Update From Yesterday

I went last night and had a great time like I knew I would. It was just so hard for me to see past the clouds to find the sun. Everything worked out for the best and I got to hang out with some amazing ladies that I am blessed to call friends...

Sometimes it is best to push through the depression, it is good to know that I beat it last night. :)

Please never feel bad if you can't find the energy to push through. I understand that too. It is different for everyone who suffers from it. It is baby steps to healing.