Happy Birthday Leslie!

Happy Birthday to my friend Leslie!!! Knowing you has changed my life for the better! I hope you have a great day my friend! Love you!

Stepping Out in Faith

sometimes, it is best just to step out in faith

trust in the good that comes to us

when we are able to use the gifts God

has given us

sometimes, we have to step out in faith

I am praying for the tsunami not to hurt anyone and I am praying for Chile.

For My Friend Debby

I love you! Yes, I would love to go on Thursday!

PS, I am so glad you love the painting, it is special, just for you!

:)

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. Maya Angelou

Ellie Being Goofy For School

Love the goofiness of my kids!!!!

Introspective on Being Self Critical

My friend Kim sent me a picture of a painting today. I said "oh, that is pretty, who painted it"? Kim texted me and said "you ARE kidding right"? and I said "who Monet"? and she said "no, YOU painted it". Kim had taken a corner of my painting and made a picture out of it. I didn't recognize it out of context. I KNOW this makes me seem like a complete airhead but I wanted to write about it because Kim made a good point. I am VERY critical of my own art. I love painting it but I always dismiss it as not being good enough. When I thought someone else painted it, it was much prettier to me. Really, I paint from my heart and it can't be wrong because I paint what I feel.

Let's all try to look at ourselves and be thankful for the good qualities. Let's look at our lives without the judgement of self doubt.

Today I Am (a totally A.D.D. post)...

Today, I am thanking God for the lessons he continues to teach me and his loving grace.

I am dreading finding matches for all the clean socks on my bed.

I am proud of myself for not having a carbonated aspartame containing beverage for two days, and for my post-finding-out-i-have-a-low-thyroid-diet...which I had to start because of extra fluffiness I have aquired since having a low thyroid (seriously, in two weeks)...Emma says it is fluffy....sweet, but not sweet enough to make me want to keep it.

I am so thankful for so much today. I am thankful for all of my blog readers! I love being able to share my life (ups and downs) with you all. Right now tween girl stuff is freaking me out but I have to stay calm when listening and be thankful she trusts me.

I am writing and listening to Millionaire Matchmaker on TV....too funny.

I had other things to say while I was doing laundry a minute ago and now I can't even think of them. I'm quite certain they weren't important....I need a nice, long bath.

Oh, my friend Leslie has never seen the Beverly Hillbillies or Petticoat Junction!! She is SO missing out, okay, maybe not.

Hanging on to Dreams

Hang on to dreams

God put them there

write it out

plan on dreams

being fullfilled

When the dream

stems from peace

and the desire to

help others

it can't go

wrong!

Heart in the Car Line :)

Friends From School

I am so thankful that so many of my elementary and high school friends have rekindled friendships and made new ones through Facebook! It is amazing how much fun we have when we all get together. Love you girls!

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Ralph Waldo Emerson

A Childs View of Alcoholism

Since I want to be an "honest" writer, I am going to write a little about my past. From my childhood. A part I don't like to remember and actually thought I was completely over until yesterday. I do think I am "over" it but it doesn't mean it doesn't "sting" when I am reminded.

I have to give my sweet mother a disclaimer because she has been an amazing, hardworking, kind and loving mom. This was just a bad choice in her life and I totally understand and I have forgiven her.

When I was in 4th grade, my mother started dating an alcoholic. His name was Bob. I was young but knew from the start he was bad news. On weekends he was at our house with his whiskey in a bottle in a brown paper bag. My mom thought he was funny when drinking. I just thought he was obnoxious. I was embarrassed to have friends over. He was so clearly drunk all of the time.

When I was in 5th grade, I remember my mom coming into my bedroom and saying "we are going to get married, would you like to come or go stay with Mamaw"...I said "you can't marry him, he is an alcoholic"....needless to say, she married him anyway. I remember the two years they were married as the worst of my life. I would go to sleep with a pillow over my head to keep the blaring Elvis Gospel tape from keeping me awake. We had lots of other drunks at our house too, they would stay up all night. I just stayed in my room.

When he was sober, he just didn't speak to me. He would go for weeks and ignore me totally. I remember being so relieved when he finally spoke to me.

Finally, my mom left him. Once she made up her mind, he was gone. My dad bought my mom and me a house and life got better. I did not look back for years. It was really too hard for me.

Bob died in 2001. I just found out recently.

The reason I am revisiting this today is because it all came rushing back to me yesterday. I was sitting on the computer, listening to Dr. Phil (I rarely, sit still and watch tv without doing something else too). Dr. Phil had on moms who were alcoholics. He interviewed one of the children of the alcoholic. The little girl said "I smell alcohol on her" and it all came back and hit me like it was yesterday. The smell. The smell when he would talk to me. The smell of dysfunction. The smell of a full blown alcoholic and the way it feels to the child. Total powerlessness. Powerlessness and living in dysfunction with no control over anything. Thank God for getting us out of that situation and helping us to move on.

I don't know why I am writing this. I think maybe someone needs to understand the child's view of alcoholism. I go on intuition when writing and I needed to write this. I have been through counseling and I am okay. Just a little sting of remembrance every few years.

Quote I Like

Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstances, are brought into closer connection with you. --Augustine of Hippo

View From the Car Line

What a great artist God is to make a gray sky look so beautiful! My view from the car line today.

Life and Thyroid

Well, the past week or two I have been feeling horrible. I have been tired and have had bad headaches...I was starting to worry that depression might be creeping back up on me. So, I had a blood test done. The nurse called today and told me that my thyroid is low. Apparently, this is what is causing all of my issues. I am so happy to know this.

I am writing this just to encourage women, if you have a feeling something is "wrong" have it checked out. There is always a reason we feel the way we do. Getting to the bottom of it will help us lead happier lives.

Having Faith to Fly

"Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it."Caroline Myss

I copied this post off one of my friends pages. I LOVE it!

It was there all along on Dorothy's feet

it is there all along for us as well

the path that was planned by God

before we were born

and it engraved in our hearts

we just have to have the faith

to BELIEVE!!!

Kindness Quote

"[...] In my world kindness is everywhere. When people treat me with kindness I am so grateful that I want to pass it on. It helps me to stop, breathe and soak it in; it is beauty and inspiration. I want the delicious vibration to envelop me, and then I want to send it out to others. Kindness is love in motion and one act encourages another." --Graceabounds

Jungle Book at Center for the Arts

Tonight we went to see Jungle Book Kids at the Center for the Arts. Ellie is lion, a monkey and then a lion again in it. All of us loved it. My 82 year old dad right down to my 6 year old daughter. I want to thank director Michael McGee for doing such a great job. I know how hard it can be to keep kids focused and there were a lot of them in the play!!

Everyone should check it out. It is running through the 21st.

I am thankful Ellie has a place to go to learn about the stage and arts!

In the picture...my dad, stepmother and Ellie (monkey)

New Hope

I have been a little depressed for two days now

when I find myself starting to lose hope

I look at the sunrise and realize everyday

is a gift and everyday gives us a new start

and with the new start comes new

HOPE

Cara's Bluebird

Cara drew this bluebird for her teacher. She looked at a picture in Mima's bird book.

For the Girls (Ellie, Emma and Cara)

I want to help

help them to grow

help them grow

and hope they know

they are smart

beautiful with big

hearts

hearts that shine

through their eyes

and from their

trusting presence

and in the trust of

all things good.......

(for my kids, who remind me everyday of the importance of my own existance, and of hope in God and hope for a bright future).

Emma's Conversation

I was in another room but I could still hear Emma and Cara talking last night. Emma said "Remember Cara, good will always win"...I was thinking about that statement. It isn't true is it? I am happy with the fact that my 8 year old still believes it but sad that one day her view will be tarnished by something, even if she starts watching the news.

I do believe it is partially right, something good usually comes from most situations. Something good, a lesson, an inspiration to help us with our journey. Maybe this is the best way to look at every situation. We can always hope and pray, the statement will become true!

SMILE

Feb 7, 2010
"Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing."`-- Mother Teresa

Writing and Feeling :)

Sometimes writing is my way to sort out feelings

Ive never been great at speaking how I feel at

the exact moment I feel it

writing helps that

writing is a gentle reminder that I can

be totally real and say exactly what I feel

it is very freeing for me

i thank everyone for taking the time

to read what I write

even if sometimes

it makes no sense

I hope everyone understands that

we all have faults but we can all

strive to be better and to make the

journey a more truthful experience

and feel it

it is okay!!

I feel GREAT things coming!!

Daisy Girl Scouts

Meet the Daisy Girlscout group!! WooHoo, they got pinned last night! Go Daisies!

Isabella's Rainbow

Last week was a hard week for me. One thing God continues to show me is that self pity will get you nowhere. Everytime I go to the "victim" place in my mind, God gently reminds me of what is important.

Two weeks ago today, my friend Emma from high school lost her 7 year old daughter. That is real sadness and heartache. Nothing I have gone through lately would come close to the pain Emma and her husband Ed are feeling as they miss Isabella.

The day Isabella passed, TN had a beautiful rainbow. Very vivid colors. Her parents wrote that it was Isabella painting in Heaven. I am going to repost the pictures I took and rename it Isabella's rainbow. Lets let Isabella teach us how blessed we are. Please keep Emma and Ed in your prayers as they miss the presence of their angel.

Today I am

I am saddened by a comment from Emma. Emma said "I need botox on my forehead because it frowns when I move it"....I have never had botox and the fact that my 8 year old thinks it is an option for her disturbs me. I guess it is a sign of the times. I just explained to her that she had no wrinkles on her face and her face is beautiful.

I hope to instill in my girls the fact that beauty shines from the inside. Being real and being open, knowing who you are and what you stand for, these are things that bring beauty. It is sad I have to compete with so many media images of perfect women.

I hope they let God shine through them. They are beautiful and so are YOU!!!

LOVE this....
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly: Richard Bach

My Mamaw

My mamaw sat on the swing in the back yard

and looked at the clouds

I talked about the shapes looking

like dogs and cats

she listened to me

the little dreamer

she encouraged me

to

keep looking to the sky

I miss her everyday

Sharing Gifts and Spreading Hope

Dream big

always

we are never too old

there is always someone

who needs inspiration

there is always something

we can do to help inspire

we all have different gifts

different shapes

different colors

but

all are needed

God is the most creative of all

and

in turn he created us

to be creative

and to spread

hope

I am so blessed and so very thankful....that is how I am feeling right now. :)